he puts the penis in happiness.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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