Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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