At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
