I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
