I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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