if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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