my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
