you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
