so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
