if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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