Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
