In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
