I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Can i not drive my cunt home
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
