how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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