he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
