He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
