is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I think I just sharted jello shots
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