hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
