I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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