I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
