Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
