So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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