So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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