420 ftw
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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