Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
