Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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