I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize