I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize