So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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