her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The Olympian is in my bed
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
