everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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