It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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