He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
It's just like the Real World with babies
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize