i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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