I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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