How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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