Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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