this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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