did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Dick very happy bro
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
