I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize