Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
