Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
