He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
