i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
