Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
