i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
