Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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