woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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