So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
