Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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