ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
