NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
