Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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