Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
