he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
