she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I need a burrito and a hug.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Dick very happy bro
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
