Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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