I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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