I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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